I was recently reflecting on this and where the root of my problem (and yours?) might be. Perhaps it's different for you but everytime I struggle with this, I sift through all the clutter and it comes down to something profound. As much as I try, I am not in control. Not in the least little bit. I can't control my kids, my wife, the church, the world or even myself. I am not in control. But God is.
I cannot speak for anyone else, but this is a lesson I have had to learn and relearn over the course of decades. There is good news though. I am beginning to see the root cause of the fear, worry and anxiety that I experience in a quicker way than I used to. Don't get me wrong. It doesn't happen overnight, but what used to take months and months now takes days.
Let me give you an exercise to do if you face the same thing. When I begin to feel that familiar unholy trinity well up in my heart, I do this: I ask myself if I can control whatever it is that I am trying to control. Can I determine the outcome? Can I manipulate the problem to work out the way I want it to? Lastly, I ask if God is in control. Does He love me? Does He promise that He will protect me? Doesn't He promise that He will prosper me, not bring me to ruin? Of course the answer to these questions is an emphatic YES!
On the other side of worry, anxiety and fear is a peace which passes all understanding. I thank God that He doesn't give up on me and is there in the midst of my trying to control things. I dream of a day when it won't take days for me to figure out but perhaps hours or minutes!!